


Lessons Learned

by hansluke



Series: Shadowhunters Oneshots [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, M/M, Robert Lightwood-centric, post 1X12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 02:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6404029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hansluke/pseuds/hansluke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert's thoughts during the kiss between his son and Magnus Bane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lessons Learned

**Author's Note:**

> As you guys can see, Robert is acting differently than in the books- You know what? I'm not going to lie. I'm just doing this to torture my friends.
> 
> Spoilers for the ending of City of Heavenly Fire, The Evil We Love, and episode 1x12: "Malec" of Shadowhunters. Just...generally spoilers. Dialogue is from 1x12 of Shadowhunters and the flashbacks are from The Evil We Love.

It was...surprising, to say the least. Then again, Robert Lightwood had never been good at seeing signs, even in those close to him.

He wasn't around Alec enough to even see signs, if there was any. He regretted that. He regretted not being there for his son when he was struggling. He swore to himself, when he was younger, that he would be a good father. But he didn't succeed in that so far.

Robert watched as Alec walked down the aisle towards the warlock, Magnus Bane. He knew him a lot longer than just the time he saw him at the institute. He knew him in his Circle days, when Magnus came to help the werewolves.

Robert watched how Magnus looked at his son...a familiar feeling of dread entering his stomach. He'd been brought up on the idea that Downworlders were not their equals and that homosexuality among Shadowhunters was wrong.

He watched Alec walk up to the warlock, grabbing him by his coat.

Then he kissed him.

Robert wasn't disgusted...he'd learned from his mistakes from all those years ago. He looked away because he was afraid. He was afraid of the reactions Alec was going to get, he was afraid of the problems his son would have to face.

Then they pulled away, finally.

Robert knew the look on his son's face. It was rare to see...but Alec was happy.

* * *

Robert waited for Maryse to finish talking before he said a word. Things were hard in their relationship as it was, he wasn't about to disagree with her. It would just start a fight.

But then he saw the look on Alec's face...like he was waiting for an inevitable explosion. Maryse had, in a way, already broken Alec's heart a little. He hoped that would be fixed...eventually.

But he couldn't screw up again. He couldn't lose his son.

Robert watched as Maryse walked out and turned to face Alec, "Just give her time."

"And you?" Alec asked, trying to seem casual, but Robert could see he was bracing himself.

"I don't really understand this," Robert told him honestly, "But I suppose our world is changing."

 _And I want to change with it,_ Robert told himself silently.

"How long as this been going on?" Robert asked. He genuinely wanted to know...and he also wanted his son to know he was genuinely interested in his life with this man.

He took a deep breath, "Are you two in love?" he asked quietly.

_"I'm in love with you."_

_"You're what? That's not funny."_

_"It's not a joke. I'm in-"_

_"Don't you say that again. You will never say that again."_

"Love? What? No," Alec said quickly, starting to stutter, "It's sort of a different-"

"It's all very new," Magnus cut in quickly.

But Robert knew...maybe Alec wasn't there yet, but he was certainly falling. But he knew by the look on Bane's face that the man was in love with his son.

Robert nodded, studying Magnus for a moment, "Right," he clasped Alec's shoulder. He tried to let his son know, silently, that he loved him and would accept him. He wanted him to know that.

"I better go check on your mom," Robert told him, leaving him behind with Magnus.

He knew Maryse needed time, so he left her alone. She was probably angry and he was afraid if she said the wrong thing, he would say the wrong thing. They didn't need anymore tension.

He went back to his office and sat down slowly, opening the drawer. They hardly had any memories of their days in the Circle, but they'd managed to snag a few before being exiled. Important pictures, thankfully.

Robert smiled weakly as he opened the album and immediately saw a picture of himself with the group of people he once called his family. His eyes fell on Michael, his parabatai.

He now recognized the look on Michael's face. It was the same look Bane gave his son.

Robert knew he scared him on that day. He now considered that day one of the worst days in his life. It was the day his bond with Michael was truly broken. He liked to think, sometimes, that it was broken because of his exile.

But he knew the truth. He broke the bond the moment those hateful words came from his mouth.

_"I said, what will they think?"_

_"They'll think you're disgusting."_

_"Like you do?"_

_"Yes. I think you're disgusting. I swore an oath to you, and I will honor it. But make no mistake: Nothing between us will ever be the same. In fact, from now on, nothing is between us, period."_

Robert regretted those words. It was the biggest mistake of his life. He knew what he should have said...but the words never came out. He was too afraid of what people would think of Michael, what they would think of _him_.

He ended up scaring him. He scared his parabatai, he made him sad, he broke their bond.

Robert never got to see the happiness that he saw on Magnus and Alec's faces when they kissed. He would never get to see his parbatai truly happy with someone like he deserved. Michael was too afraid to be open with anyone after that. He was too afraid that Robert would be right, that people would think he was disgusting.

Robert couldn't let Alec be afraid like that. He couldn't let him be sad. He would support his son no matter what, because that's what you're supposed to do for people you love.

He learned from his mistakes after last time.

He learned his lesson.


End file.
